By KATHERINE NGUYEN The Orange County Register
ROW, ROW, ROW: Indoor rowing is the name of the game at Iron Oarsman Rowing in Costa Mesa.
Sang H. Park, for the Register
The exercise gods are punishing me.
At the grocery store checkout, I'm taunted by magazine covers boasting, "Get your bikini-hot bod in 8 simple steps!"
At the mall, shops are stocking tight leggings and skinny jeans.
At home this past month, my fitness-minded Jiminy Cricket has been sitting on my shoulder while I've been sitting on my lazy derriere:
"Now, Kat, you know you could have awakened an hour early and gone for a jog before work!"
"Oh dear, was that wise of you to eat four giant cookies?"
"No, Kat, no! Put down that fifth cookie. Right now!"
Cookie issues aside, I'm not the only one who has trouble with regular exercise. According to a study by the President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports, only 23 percent of American adults report exercising for 20 minutes or longer three or more days a week, and only 15 percent of adults reported physical activity of 30 minutes or longer for five days or more a week. Forty percent don't exercise at all.
After falling off the gym-workout wagon, I told myself that I would try as many different exercise options as necessary to find one I could stick to.
My curiosity led me to try the ever-trendy pole fitness classes, "pole fitness" being the gentle way to phrase pole dancing. Stacy Rae, the instructor who e-mailed me, sold me on the concept with her promise, "You won't feel like you're working out at all!"
This definitely called for the buddy system. So I took my roommate Nate, who recently declared that she had fitness ADD and needed to vary her workouts.
"Is the instructor a real stripper?" Nate wondered on the way there. "I mean, she'd have to be in order to be qualified to teach such a class, right?"
On the contrary. A 41-year-old mother of three boys, Rae looks more like the head of the PTA than an exotic dancer. That turned out to be deceptive, as Rae proved to be ridiculously limber and graceful. The class was held inside Rae's private Body Techniques studio in Huntington Beach. The candles in the darkened room gave off a forgiving glow. Four poles were erected in the small room, to be shared by nine women.
The class started with a half hour's worth of stretching that involved bicycle legwork, rolling the hips in circles and lifting the hips up and down, all the while suggestively tossing our hair about. I had to keep from bursting into laughter several times when Rae would utter phrases like, "Oh yesss, ladies, that's it, let your inner goddesses come out!" and "Let your hands glide along your body's beautiful curves!"
When it finally came time to learn some pole "tricks," I got really nervous but figured, how hard could it be to swing around a pole?
Rae tried to teach us how to walk sexily to the pole, but I just ended up stumbling over my feet. Once, while reaching out for the pole, my arm fell two inches short and I wound up grabbing air. And instead of twirling my body elegantly around the pole, I ran into it. Several times. I had bruises in places that I didn't think I could.
After spinning around and down the pole, one was supposed to grab the pole with both hands and then snap the booty back up in one swift movement, but my bottom kept smacking the ground before my feet could hit the floor to bounce back up.
Surprisingly, my ineptitude with the pole worked in my favor. It made me work harder. You try lifting and pulling and propelling your body around that pole for 30 minutes and tell me that's not a workout. And a fun one at that! The hour was up before I knew it, and I was pumped, if not already sore.
At the end of class, Rae asked for a volunteer to show off her newly acquired skills. One shy-looking but lithe woman was so good that after she completed her steamy moves (we're talking flips and sliding down the pole upside down and stuff here!), I felt like I had to tip her. Turns out she had been taking classes for three years and even had a pole built in her home.
I thoroughly enjoyed the pole workouts. But at $20 a session, they're pricey, especially since I should take the class at least twice a week in addition to other workouts to see any real results.
Next, I tried an indoor rowing class that Nate has been raving about, although I think the "hot guys" who train at the Iron Oarsman Rowing studio in Costa Mesa provide good motivation for her, too. The first class was free and, better yet, it's a five-minute walk from home.
The instructor, Xeno M?ller, is a hulking two-time Olympian rower who won gold in 1996 and silver in 2000. The small studio has about 15 rowing machines. Strap your feet in, pull the handle in front of you and slide back and forth, using your arms to pull and legs to push.
Apparently I am more uncoordinated than I thought. I was totally off rhythm with the rest of the class. While they were pushing, I was pulling.
Instantly, M?ller zeroed in on the newbie in the class. "So Kaaht, seet up straight, chest owt!" he bellowed with his endearing Swiss accent.
"You need to engage the stroke!"
"Don't forget to hinge!"
Wha?
I might as well have been taking astrophysics. I'm sure I was out of sync the entire 45 minutes, but I really enjoyed myself, sweat and all. I think I might have found a workout worth sticking with. My favorite part? I get to sit the entire time.
More information:
Iron Oarsman Rowing
www.gorow.com or (949) 400-7630
Body Techniques
(714) 965-5767 CONTACT
Xeno Muller, Olympic gold and silver medalist, indoor rowing, rowing technique.
